Screamfest coverage of HUMANSVILLE

Well, I submitted my scripts Dweller (not my best script, but a decent, thought-provoking little creature-feature) and Humansville (my own adaptation of my first novel) to Screamfest.

Both were rejected.

However, they did provide feedback on both scripts (apparently I requested it).

Format: Good

Grammar: Good

Characters: Poor

Plot/Story: Fair

Pacing: Poor

Grab in First 20: Poor

Dialogue: Fair

The basis of the story here is relatively interesting- a small town becoming caught in the battle between good and evil. However, the script falls apart due to an odd focus on the demons learning to function in the human world. For almost the first third of the script, nothing really happens except fish-out-of-water moments with the demons in society. No one seems to notice how oddly they're acting, and it soon becomes difficult to maintain interest in the plot.

It's also an odd choice to not introduce any human characters with whom we can identify until relatively late in the script, which further makes it hard to become invested in the story. And since the demons are who we spend the most time with in the plot, there is very little mystery to the script. We know early on that they're out to do bad things, and the fact that they're demonic entities isn't much of a reveal based upon the horrific acts they take part in. We simply follow them as they go from one crime to the next and complain about being trapped in human bodies. While following the antiheroes of a heavenly struggle on earth could be interesting, this script needs to be developed into something beyond a chain of atrocities laced with snarky dialogue from the villains.