Brogan Agency

So... Last Wednesday (May 9th) I sent out a bunch of queries for my script Personal Demons.

On Thursday (May 10th) the agent I submitted to (Andy Rodman) replied back at 2:16pm:

"I'll take a look.

send PDF

Andy"

 

So I sent the PDF and a shareable Google Docs link to my video pitch for it.

 

He replied on Friday (May 11th) at 5:34pm, saying:

 

"Erik,

I took a quick look, (at 14 pages)and I thank you, but tis a pass for us.  there needs to be a H/H  in the first few pages  (Horror Hook) connected to the characters, and the narrative lacks style. suggest you break after 4/5 lines.  Tis too dense.

Best,

Andy"

 

... Yup. It's hard not to take this kind of rejection and criticism hard.

I don't know what the hell he means by "horror hook"... and all the horror in it is connected to the characters (directly, as it takes place in a small town).

But his comment about the "narrative lacking style"... ouch.

Don't really know what to say about that.

Feels like a personal dig.

But I know it's not.

I gotta wonder about all his usage of "tis".

"Suggest you break after 4/5 lines... tis too dense"

I thought Hollywood wanted scripts light on dialog, heavy on action, not a lot of talking heads.

Everyone tells me something different.

The bottom line is: if you're not famous already and you're trying to break in, you don't have an in, you're not related to anyone in the industry or you didn't grow up out there or go to the right schools (on the coasts) and meet all these people, well, you're kinda screwed and you can do nothing right in your writing or in your seeking of representation.