critique

Here's is PJ's critique on Pillow Queen:

"Thanks for sending this my way.

Unfortunately, I agree with a lot of the critiques you've shown me in regards to Pillow Queen.  If I were being entirely honest, I think you need to either scrap the script or re-build it completely from the ground up.  I don't normally like to talk about "marketability" or anything like that, but I'm not entirely sure who this script is for.  I can't remember the last time I saw a movie that was this explicit, even about porn.  You referenced Boogie Nights, but Boogie Nights wasn't just about porn.  They didn't sit around just discussing the mechanics of porn.  I think, when people have critiqued your pages upon pages of dialogue, it's because they're usually nothing more than very explicit talk about porn.  I know you make the argument that they build the characters, but I don't think that's true at all.  You have to really ask yourself: who is this movie for?  You're dealing with a subset of a subset of people who can stomach this graphic of dialogue.  And I'm speaking as someone who is very desensitized.

Aside from that, I really didn't like Anna.  And this, once again, gets into the discussion of the "unlikable protagonist" or the "anti-hero", which I think CAN be a good thing.  American Psycho is one of my favorite movies, and Patrick Bateman doesn't have a single redeeming quality going for him.  But he stands for something.  The film is a satire and he represents something.  Also, he's just an engrossing, interesting character to watch.  I can't really say the same for Anna.  She's mean to almost every person she meets, she's not relatable in any way, and I don't really know what she stands for or what you're trying to say with her.  Why do we want to follow her on this journey?

Next, conflict.  I agree with the critiques you've received; you need an antagonist.  It doesn't even have to be a person, just something to act as an antagonist towards Anna.  I know, in the end, she learns a VERY hard lesson, but that's 90-some pages in.  Before that, she doesn't really encounter much that stands in her way.  There needs to be some push and pull here.

Awhile back, I wrote an entry where I talked about mainstream films.  And I said that I don't write mainstream films, and I've come to accept that.  So naturally, I run into opposition from time to time because of what I write. This film, no matter how you dice it, is not a mainstream film.  And that's OK to not be writing for the mainstream.  But when several people are telling you the same thing, you have to really sit back and think about it.  There's fighting the good fight, and then there's not being able to see when you're fighting a losing battle.

Sorry for not sugar coating this.  Normally I'd write a bunch of flowery stuff to not make it seem so bad, but I think it's best that I'm just straight with you.  Critiques are never easy.  The last critique I had was with a director, and I promise, during the critique, I was so mad all I could think was "Well, this is it. I'm done with writing.  Fuck all this."  It's always hard, and I've been doing this for awhile too.

Hopefully, at the very least, you're able to gain something from my critique.  I sincerely wish you the best with your writing.

-P.J."

PJ and I have been back and forth since about April about screenwriting.
But, I'm guessing after reading this (and with his line about wishing me "the best" with my writing) I'm guessing we're done.

I'll consider what he's said.

And I have thoughts & reactions to it, but I'll share those later.