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PERSONAL DEMONS
In
Blackhand, Colorado a demon ascends from the mountains and creeps it’s
way into the town. MR. ERIK HAUER (late 20s) is supervising the Horror
Club consisting of members: CONRAD HEINDT (18), WOLFGANG BURROUGHS (17),
JERMIAH LUSTIG (17), EFFIE DIETRICH (18), and ARNOLD OLMST (18). After
they watch Nightmare on Elm Street, they all go home to their families.
The dynamics with their families are different for each teen with
Wolfgang’s being the hardest. The demon continues to move through the
town. He comes upon a farm and ripes a cow apart.
He
moves onto Wolfgang’s house. He bursts through the window. The two
wrestle until the demon rips into Wolfgang’s body. The Horror Club is
told about Wolfgang’s death the next day and they’re distraught. Police
are unsure of what happened and an autopsy can’t place the claw marks.
Conrad isn’t convinced that it was a mountain lion. He visits Wolfgang’s
grave. The demon lurks in the shadows. Conrad hears it and moves out of
the way. The demon digs into Wolfgang’s casket and pulls his body out.
The lights of the police cars scare it. It drops his body and flees into
the woods. The next day, Conrad tells his friends what he saw but they
don’t believe him. They decide to set up a trap to lure the demon out.
Mr. Hauer overhears the entire thing.
They
go to the local church where they ask TIMOTHY “TIMBO” BISHOP (22), a
former classmate and a friend, for holy water. He’s reluctant at first
but he gives them some. They set up a trap of meat stuffed inside
clothing. They succeed in luring the demon out and douse it in holy
water which burns its skin. It spots the Horror Club on a rooftop which
freaks them out. They all return home. At the club the next day, Effie
and Arnold talk about getting punished by their parents. Jeremiah isn’t
even there meaning he got the worst of it. They think Mr. Hauer told
their parents about their plan. They decide to try something else.
Conrad confronts Jermiah about abandoning their mission. Jeremiah
confesses that he thinks whatever is happening to them because they’re
Catholic and demons don’t exist in Judaism.
They
go to a wolf sanctuary and lure the demon there. Arnold sets up the
trap in the wolf sanctuary. The wolves and demon fight each other off.
The wolves overtake the demon and he flees. Arnold and the rest of the
club flee. Conrad comes over to claw marks around his window. His dad is
waiting for him in his house and tells him that he’s thinking of moving
because of everything that’s happened in the town thus far. The next
day, Effie and Arnold decide to abandon the mission. Arnold is freaked
out that he was so close to the demon and almost died and Effie’s
parents want to send her to boarding school. Timbo comes out of the
church on his way to an Ozzy concert to find that his tires have been
slashed. He tries to fix it and is face to face with the demon. He
fights off the demon and is able to lure it away when he forces the
cross hanging around his neck into its chest. It wounds the demon and it
flees. Timbo survives, barely hanging on. This changes the minds of
Effie, Arnold and Jermiah who all have had Timbo help them out in the
past with various issues. Their new plan is to find out where the demon
lives and kill it from there. They research the different ways they can
do it through classic horror films, video games and books.
The
demon follows Mr. Hauer to his house and kills him in his basement.
Conrad watches him take the body to his lair in the mountains. He relays
the information back to the group. They get ready to strike. They
attack. Mid-fight, Effie asks the demon why it decided to start
attacking people. It sloppily writes “souls” on the cave walls. The
fight continues with Jermiah and Arnold badly injured. Timbo emerges and
throws a cross into the demon’s throat and pours holy water on it. The
demon chokes and is burned by the holy water. Just then several even
hundreds of demons emerge and drag the charred body back further into
the cave. They decide to recruit more people to fight off the remaining
demons.
OVERVIEW
I like how this script references classic horror content from
various mediums. Seeing how the teens solve this through their knowledge
of demon slaying in horror gives this script a unique angle. The
structure and pacing are strong. There’s never a moment in the script
where it feels like information is being revealed too late or too early.
The discovery of hundreds, maybe thousands of demons in the cave was a
great twist that felt like the right way to end the story.
PLOT & CHARACTERS
This script is grounded and it shows when Jeremiah initially pulls
out of the plan because of his religious beliefs and the others fear for
their lives. It adds a sense of realism to the plot that makes these
characters more relatable. Despite consuming a lot of horror media, they
have no desire to put their lives in danger for it. At the beginning of
the script, you spend some time establishing the teen’s home lives but
it would’ve been nice to see their friendship before the demon kills
Wolfgang. The parents and their dynamic with their kids didn’t really
add much to the overall story.
The
rules regarding the demon need to be more clear. If he’s attached to
any meat, why doesn’t go on a rampage throughout the town? The conflict
is very centered on the teens and the people around them that die.
Bringing the entire town into it would raise the stakes. There’s also
the question of why only one demon comes out at a time.
CONCLUSION
Overall, this is a solid horror piece that has a good amount of
suspense, gore and action to keep the reader engaged in the story. The
characters are relatable as well and their reactions to the various
situations are realistic. There should be more time spent establishing
their friendship dynamic rather than their individual family dynamics.
It’s great that the characters are invested in horror content and use
that as a reference when trying to defeat the demon.
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