Typically, I don't even celebrate New Year's (that holiday has been a constant source of misery for me and my family... either the day itself turns out disastrously, or the ensuing year is torturous).
But this year I quietly made a New Year's Resolution: to not be envious of those who have more than me.
Really, though, it could translate to: "I will not be envious of those who have more inherit (family, friends) professional connections than me, or those who have worked harder than me (or have more advantages than me) and have progress farther than I have."
Some of my friends seem to have a direct line into Hollywood and I have no idea (though I do have theories) how they acquired these connections.
Sure, I could sit around and be bitter, but I could also spend that time working and try to catch up.
And, indeed, there are lots of people whose careers I would like:
- Richard Matheson and Ray Bradbury (RIP both) - both of whom were either from the Midwest or stopped over here for education. They were both highly respected literary voices and were able to adapt their own work, adapt others' work and get nearly any original screenplay they penned put before the camera. Same goes for Robert Bloch.
- Brett Easton Ellis - Same as above. Although nearly every novel he pens gets optioned right away. Same goes for Chuck Palahniuk.
And then there's Alex Garland.
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly he once said that, if he had his choice, he would do nothing but get stoned in his apartment and play video games.
I even read the Faber & Faber edition of Garland's screenplay for 28 Days Later and in the introduction he indeed does state that the script was heavily influenced by the Resident Evil games.
Now, I spend quite a bit of time in my apartment playing video games... And while I find it immensely enjoyable, I regret the fact that I used to write copiously and spend the time I now spend playing video games, reading and watching movies. And, sure, I get inspiration from video games (as well as hours of entertainment... let's face it: they're interactive movies at this point), but I feel as if they are sucking my life away. I know I need to strike that balance, that equilibrium and find a happy equipoise between playing games and writing, submitting and reading.
But at the same time I know I don't have to swear off games and hock all the systems I own and pull a Bukowski or Kerouac and do next to nothing but stare at my writing machine all day.
I look at all Alex Garland has accomplished (novels, scripts... And his directorial debut, which looks amazing!) and I could be okay with having a career like his.
He writes original (yet derivative) screenplays (28 Days Later, Sunshine).
He writes stellar adaptations (Dredd was by far my second favorite film of 2012 (after Underworld: Awakening) and is one of my favorite comic book films ever!).
So perhaps it's not a bad thing to sit in your apartment playing video games... As long as you counterbalance that with work, submission and accomplishment.
Perhaps I'm just bogged down, having written 13 screenplays, 6 novels and countless short stories and poems, and having gotten little-to-nowhere with any of them. Though, in the end, I know I just need to keep pushing on. It's hard, though. Bill Burroughs said he would have stopped writing had Junkie not been published when he was 39. Well, I'm going to be 35 in a few weeks. That gives me four more years.
We'll see what comes after that.
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