Kickstarter

Anyone remember Matthew Lasko?

He was the hyperkinetic old dude, dancing around on the steps of the Washington Monument, wearing a Riddler-esque jacket with question marks on it. He had an infomerical back in the 80's-90's... and in it he professed that, through his book, you could get the government to pay you to write a novel.

I scoffed at the idea at the time.

Then I went to college, thinking, most of those four years, that, when I graduated,  people (publishers, agents, publishing houses, etc.) would pay me to write... not the fucking government.

Guess I was wrong on all counts.

It sounds nice, though, doesn't it?

Especially since I just received my first round of rejections from my first slew of queries.

I won't mention any names, 'cuz a Google search could easily find my blog and burn some bridges, but one seemed rather prominent (according to Absolute Writer Water Cooler) and the other, well, I dunno. Then, another agent's e-mail was defective and kept sending me "delayed", then "undeliverable" e-mails... Again, whatever.

Then there's a slew of agents who only accept snail mail queries.

That's kind of shithead-ish, to me, in the digital era.

Do agents hate cold calling so much that they're just trying to pile up more boulders in front of writers?

And do agents actually get enough clients through referrals and solicitation that they don't need to read queries in order to have talent that puts food on the table?

I guess lots of people have connections... and there's lots of dumbasses out there who don't deserve book deals, but get them anyhow (the Shades of Gray lady, case & point).

Anyhow, I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign.

My initial thought was to ask for the Kickstarter donors to contribute my annual salary, so that I could quit my day (and night) job and just write for a living... a little bit like Johnny Depp's character Mort Rainey in Secret Window (though without all the murder, schizophrenia and financial security): just to mope around my apartment, take sporadic, mid-day naps and stare at one sentence on my laptop every few weeks... to be a paid writer... bloody marvelous!

But, alas, I don't want to be a dick, so I'm amending my Kickstarter request to simply $1,000 to off-set the cost of materials (stamps, envelopes, SASEs, copy paper, toner, etc.) for submitting my cold calling queries.

Hopefully, that is not asking too much.

I see most people exceed their Kickstarter goals by leaps and bounds.

Anyhow, slight cold (or cooler) weather is creeping into St. Louis, as it is known to do after Labor Day. I enjoy the chilly mornings and pleasant evenings... At this point I need all the joy I can get... even the little things.